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Punjabi Condolences: What to Say After a Death ਅਫ਼ਸੋਸ

The hardest phrases to improvise and the worst ones to get wrong. Formal, gentle language for loss and for sitting with someone in it.

What to know before you use these

  • The worst phrases to improvise — This is the one section to read before you need it. Getting the register wrong at a funeral is remembered, and there is no chance to try again.
  • Comfort is framed through "bhaana" — Accepting God's will. Punjabi condolence tends to place the loss inside that frame rather than dwelling on the loss itself.
  • "Afsos karan aauna" is the visit — Coming to pay condolences is an action, not a phrase. Saying you will come carries more than anything you say once you arrive.

All 18 phrases

Cover:
I was very sad to hear the news
ਸੁਣ ਕੇ ਬਹੁਤ ਦੁੱਖ ਹੋਇਆ
Sun ke bahut dukh hoya
💡 the standard first line of condolence
They say
ਇਹ ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਦਾ ਭਾਣਾ ਹੈ
Eh Waheguru da bhaana hai — This is Waheguru's will
May Waheguru give the family strength to accept His will
ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਪਰਿਵਾਰ ਨੂੰ ਭਾਣਾ ਮੰਨਣ ਦਾ ਬਲ ਬਖ਼ਸ਼ੇ
Waheguru parivaar nu bhaana mannan da bal bakhshe
💡 ਭਾਣਾ = divine will — the most standard Sikh condolence line
May Waheguru give the departed soul a place at His feet
ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਵਿਛੜੀ ਰੂਹ ਨੂੰ ਆਪਣੇ ਚਰਨਾਂ ਵਿੱਚ ਨਿਵਾਸ ਦੇਵੇ
Waheguru vichhri rooh nu apne charnaan vich niwas deve
This is Waheguru's will
ਇਹ ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਦਾ ਭਾਣਾ ਹੈ
Eh Waheguru da bhaana hai
We are with you
ਅਸੀਂ ਤੁਹਾਡੇ ਨਾਲ ਹਾਂ
Asin tuhade naal haan
If you need anything at all, just tell me
ਕਿਸੇ ਚੀਜ਼ ਦੀ ਲੋੜ ਹੋਵੇ ਤਾਂ ਦੱਸਿਓ
Kise cheez di lorh hove taan dassio
They say
ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਭਲਾ ਕਰੇ
Waheguru bhala kare — May Waheguru bless you
When is the bhog?
ਭੋਗ ਕਦੋਂ ਹੈ?
Bhog kadon hai?
💡 ਭੋਗ = the closing prayer ceremony with the Antim Ardas
We will come to pay our condolences
ਅਸੀਂ ਅਫ਼ਸੋਸ ਕਰਨ ਆਵਾਂਗੇ
Asin afsos karan aavange
💡 ਅਫ਼ਸੋਸ ਕਰਨਾ = to make a condolence visit, a set custom
They lived a full life
ਉਹਨਾਂ ਨੇ ਭਰਿਆ-ਪੂਰਾ ਜੀਵਨ ਜੀਵਿਆ
Ohnaan ne bharia-poora jeevan jivia
💡 the deceased is always spoken of in the respectful plural
It is a very great loss
ਬਹੁਤ ਵੱਡਾ ਘਾਟਾ ਪਿਆ ਹੈ
Bahut vadda ghaata pia hai
They say
ਉਹਨਾਂ ਨੇ ਭਰਿਆ-ਪੂਰਾ ਜੀਵਨ ਜੀਵਿਆ
Ohnaan ne bharia-poora jeevan jivia — They lived a full life
Be strong, everyone is with you
ਹਿੰਮਤ ਰੱਖੋ, ਸਾਰੇ ਤੁਹਾਡੇ ਨਾਲ ਹਨ
Himmat rakkho, saare tuhade naal han
Everything will be alright
ਸਭ ਠੀਕ ਹੋ ਜਾਵੇਗਾ
Sabh theek ho javega
I heard he isn't well — how is he now?
ਸੁਣਿਆ ਉਹ ਠੀਕ ਨਹੀਂ, ਹੁਣ ਕਿਵੇਂ ਹਨ?
Sunia oh theek nahin, hun kiven han?
May God make them well soon
ਰੱਬ ਜਲਦੀ ਰਾਜ਼ੀ ਕਰੇ
Rabb jaldi raazi kare
💡 ਰਾਜ਼ੀ = well/healthy — the everyday get-well blessing
We are doing ardaas for you
ਅਸੀਂ ਤੁਹਾਡੇ ਲਈ ਅਰਦਾਸ ਕਰ ਰਹੇ ਹਾਂ
Asin tuhade layi ardaas kar rahe haan
Time heals every wound
ਸਮਾਂ ਸਭ ਜ਼ਖ਼ਮ ਭਰ ਦਿੰਦਾ ਹੈ
Samaan sabh zakham bhar dinda hai
Whatever God does, He does for the best
ਜੋ ਰੱਬ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ, ਭਲੇ ਲਈ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ
Jo Rabb karda hai, bhale layi karda hai
You cared for them so well
ਤੁਸੀਂ ਉਹਨਾਂ ਦੀ ਬਹੁਤ ਸੇਵਾ ਕੀਤੀ
Tusi ohnaan di bahut seva keeti
💡 said to family who nursed the deceased or an ill elder — high praise

Other situations

Eating & Hospitality At Home Emotions & Expressions Travel & Directions At the Doctor Emergencies On the Phone At the Gurdwara Weddings & Parties Talking with Elders With Children Encouragement & Compliments Apologies & Making Up Daily Routine Asking for Help Airport & Journeys At School & With Teachers Renting & Household Problems At the Bank & Sending Money Taxis & Buses Cooking Together Festival Greetings Catching Up & Small Talk

Smaller topics — meeting someone new, the weather, shopping, work, family — live in the full phrasebook, alongside every phrase on this page. See the phrasebook index for the whole set, or the dialogues for these phrases inside whole conversations.